Isaiah 1:18

"Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."

I Love to See the Temple was always my second favorite Primary song, after A Child's Prayer. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are encouraged from our childhood to make entering the holy temple one of our most important goals. There, in the House of the Lord, we make covenants, receive unimaginable blessings and are sealed to our families for time and all eternity. The ordinances of the temple are sacred, and therefore we do not discuss them outside of the temple or display them for the world to see. 

To enter into that holy place and partake of its blessings, one must be completely clean and free of the stains of the world. This state is possible through, and only through, the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ.

These words have been repeated to me for so long that after a while they really seemed to lose their meaning. I would have moments of clarity here and there, when I witnessed small miracles or took time to recognize the importance of the gospel, but it wasn't until I made the decision to serve a mission that I realized the gravity of the Atonement and personal worthiness.

Going to the temple to receive your endowment is probably the biggest step in preparing to serve a mission. No unclean thing can enter into the presence of the Lord, and that's why it takes so much effort to keep up your end of the deal. If we live in obedience to the commandments and standards of our Heavenly Father, which are put in place to protect us and bring us joy, Jesus Christ makes up the rest. I feel more grateful each day for His atoning sacrifice on my behalf. 

As I have worked with the Lord to bring my spirit to a place of worthiness to receive the blessings of the temple, I've come to appreciate more than ever the happiness that comes along with righteous living. Repentance, in its true and complete form, is as rewarding as it is difficult. Once you know that you have been forgiven for each misdeed and mistake that used to weigh you down, it's like being an entirely new person. I can't explain the abiding peace and comfort of acting under the direction of the Spirit. That constant companionship comes when we are worthy of it, and it is truly something to strive for. It's a feeling unmatched by any other on the earth.

On Tuesday evening I had the privilege to receive my endowment in the Bountiful, UT Temple. The attendance of members of my family, leaders from my home ward, and my best friend made it an even more special experience. Most importantly, I was able to make covenants with my Heavenly Father. What a blessing it is to feel His love in everything. I know that I can turn to Him when the adversary is at my heels, and there is such safety in knowing that I have an all-knowing Father watching over me at all times.

Come to the temple. Do whatever you need to in order to be worthy, and do everything fully and properly. You will be blessed more than words can describe.

Ether 12:6

"...faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."

My friends, if I have ever experienced an honest-to-goodness trial of my faith, it has been the entirety of my life for the past three weeks. When I met with my stake president to finalize my paperwork, he told me that I could anticipate my fairly low-maintenance application to "shoot through the system" and hopefully I would be opening my call the next Wednesday evening. Call me naive, but I was dead set on that date and planned everything accordingly. 

Of course, my call was not assigned the weekend I had expected, and so I resolved to be a little bit more wary. When I discovered it had been assigned a week later, I moved back in on the drawing board and, with the help of my ever-excellent mother, assembled semi-elaborate preparations for a get-together so all my close family (trust me, the 20+ prospective attendees represented only a fraction of the family that I deem truly close) would be able to be with me for the joyous event.

Wednesday was the day. Mom and my stepdad, Chris, postponed their weekend trip to Las Vegas to visit my beloved little stepsister Mookie until Thursday morning so it would all work out. Lo and behold, on The Big Wednesday, I called the post office and they (smugly? Maybe I was a little too anxious) informed me that no mission callings had been sent in that morning. It was disappointing, but my support system is about as perfect as they come and everyone understood when I let them know that I would be opening my call on Sunday night once my parents were home - in the serendipitous event that I actually did receive a mission call.

Cue thunderings and lightnings! All manner of iniquity! Nahhh. That big white envelope came on Thursday and I cradled it, seal unbroken, like a baby while the rest of the world stared at me in sheer confusion. It's my call, is it not? Don't I have the right to open it whenever I darn well please? Yes, World. Yes, I do have that right. And I wanted to wait for my ma. I prayed for patience and lingered in blessedly sedate anticipation. Satan worked on me like I don't believe I've ever been operated upon before (not even the wisdom teefies). Spending time with wonderful friends saved me, but home alone I felt unreasonably and inexplicably depressed and just plain cranky! Emotional stamina will be one of my strong points by the time I return home.

And then, thanks to our beautiful Utah weather, the Sunday evening shindig was cancelled. It snowed. And snowed. And continued to snow and rain until the roads became impossible to travel and, 6 minutes before my folks' flight landed, all runways in the Salt Lake City International Airport were closed and they were sent back to Las Vegas. Apart from the timely appearance of my home teachers and later two of my best friends for a short period, I savored in solitude the evening that was intended to be spent gathered in the company of many of my loved ones as I waited. This sounds rather dreary, but I had made a personal decision to open my call with my mother present and I found peace in sticking to my guns.

I came home from church at 4:00 PM. I cancelled the plans at 6:00 PM. I opened the garage door to usher in my exhausted mother, stepfather, and little brother Andrew at 12:00 AM. Along the way, I finished reading my Book of Mormon and gained, minute by minute, a new appreciation for my calling and a humble understanding of the almighty power and mercy of my Heavenly Father. He gave me hope for those things which I had so earnestly desired and prayed for, then He allowed that faith to be put to the test. I was broken and refined to the point where I was humble enough to discover in which place the Lord would have me serve. And I am pleased and honored to announce that the dynamics of this mission are exactly, without error, without exception, without consequence, the characteristics that I prayed for in faith. (Enos 1:12, 15)