Sometimes we almost kill our sister trainers…again 12-9-13

SURPRISE! We had two unexpected work visits this week. The Hermana Líderes called us on Tuesday to tell us they'd be coming to do divisions with us in our area, and then Hermana Archibald (President's wife) called us on Friday to ask if she could come to our appointments with us for the afternoon. Usually that's terrifying. This time, it was...also terrifying. But that's okay. They both ended up being super relaxed and (dare I say it?) fun!

Hermana Brown, from Arizona, and I went and visited a couple people. She has only 7 months on the mission and is already a sister leader! That's crazy! But she teaches with such love and understanding that I can see why. I learned a lot about the importance of remembering that each person is our brother or our sister. 

In the evening we were on our way back to the house to meet with Hermana Moody and Hermana Mendoza. There were a ton of people along the highway, so I thought we may as well take a shortcut through Huamantanga. I don't know if I've ever told you anything about it, but Huamantanga is this massive, massive market that takes up several blocks and is easy to get lost in during the day...at nighttime, I learned, there is no hope. We contacted a girl selling ice cream and then wound our way into the depths, taking one too many wrong turns. To make a long story short, we ended up against the very high wall which we had anticipated to be our exit, backing slowly away from two

very large

and very 

very

very

angry

dogs.

Who were barking.

This is the end…at least I was serving a mission.

Just as the bigger dog came within lunging distance, a man poked his head curiously around the corner. "Señor, por favor, ¡AYÚDENOS!" Hermana Brown cried. He calmly called Rocky, his massive beast of a pet, telling him to leave us alone. Finally the dog backed off enough for us to walk forward and out of the alleyway. We talked to this fella for a few minutes - he wanted to talk about the United States and the merits of puppies and bunkbeds and all this nonsense, but we very tactfully let him know we were ready to go home. So he gave us directions back out, and by the time we got onto the highway sidewalk, there was a much smaller crowd. 

Hey, silver lining.

ANNNNNNNYYYYWAYYYYYYYY

Made it home safe and sound. Dusted off our faldas and the next morning Hermana Brown told me my Spanish is great and she thinks I am prooooobably going to be training next transfer.

WORLD SHATTERED

There are 9 Latina sisters coming in. And exactly ZERO gringas. So if I do train, I am going to be training a native Spanish speaker. That's that. We find out next Tuesday, I s'pose! Pray for the missionaries of Peru Lima Oeste, because our cambios are literally a week before Christmas. There might be some tears. But, the Lord has it all under control. I trust Him.

Hermana Archibald also told me with great surprise in her voice after our first lesson with her company that my Spanish is excellent. If she didn't sound so completely shocked I would have been ever so slightly more complimented, but HEY I guess that's always good to speak another language. Oh gracious, now you're just witnessing the musings of a young lady unfit for society or anything of the like. 

#Patiencepatiencepatiencepatiencepatienceisavirtue

Oh yeah. We also chased some chickens around a house and ate beautiful Peruvian trash caviar and got interviewed by some students who are trying to learn English and Hermana Moody cat called a bunch of couples (HAY BAY BAY!) in the big Municipal park in the center of Puente and we played billiards last p-day with our district and Hermana Moody got sick and I got better and GOT OUR WATER HEATER INSTALLED IN OUR NEW HOUSE and got some Christmas packages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#Thanksmommyforthe14pairsofsoftsoftsocksandreese'speanutbuttercupswhichliterallymademyworldgoroundandtheadorablephotographsandyesIdowantyoutoincludethisentiresentencedirectedspecificallyatyouinmyblogbecauseIwanteverybodytoknowthatyouaretheworld'sgreatestmotherandyoudeserveamugthatsaysIgavemymissionarydaughter14pairsofsocksforChristmasandherhappinesslevelisnowsevenhundredpercentincreased.

(If she was that excited about the socks and Reese's what's she going to do when she receives her REAL Christmas package next week… and the notes telling her that family is sending her additional packages every month as our "12 months of Christmas" project??  So fun to have such an enthusiastic and grateful daughter!)

And one night Hermana Moody flopped down on my bed (bottom bunk) in her proselyting clothes after planning so I climbed up onto her bed and we sat there and talked with the light on and then I had a dream that I woke up in the morning in my own bed and got ready for the day like normal and then suddenly I woke up on the top bunk at 12:41 a.m. and almost had a panic attack but just put on jammies and got in bed.  And also this week I found out our little 15-year-old buddy "Mi" has been telling everybody he loves me.

If you are a returned missionary, you will agree. If you are a future missionary, be prepared. If a joven decides to tell everybody they are in love with you, it means only one thing.

endless.

torment.

At least when the other missionaries in your ward are anything like Hermana Moody, Elder Muñoz, Elder Salazar, and Elder Johnson. Elder Gallardo is pretty nice. The others...it's a rough time.

#Butwhatcanyado

ALSO we watched the Christmas Devotional in Spanish and it was beautiful! Oh my goodness. I was such a mess for Elder Nelson's talk. So stunning. I am so grateful that I could understand it!  Wow. The gift of tongues is SO COOL.

I love being a missionary. We are so guided by the Holy Ghost to the people, the places, and the words that the Lord needs us to have.

I love you all and pray for you every night.

Sending my blessings home,

Hermana Hewitt

OH YEAH

I'm just going to write some of Hermana Moody's best quotes this week:

"I really like my right eyebrow, Hermana Hewitt. My left eyebrow, on the other hand, deserves to be shot off my face."

"My throat has seen the fire of the coming of the Lord. I feel like I just made out with a dragon. Or at least that's how I imagine it would be."

"I'm going to get a companion that I have to slap in the face daily."

(after we had seen some dogs fighting and I had said, "It really is a dog-eat-dog world.") "Yeah, I had always thought that was just something cute to say. Doggie-dog world."

And my personal favorite...

(trying to get me to eat my last few bites of food) "Here comes the plane! OPEN THE PLANE HOLE!"

I'll be optimistic 12-2-13

Well, Hermana Moody and I have been going through a rough spot in our companionship. I always try to get her to be happy, and she always tries to get me to stop being a child. SOOO basically, the subject of this carta is what happens when an unstoppable force collides with an immovable object. 

#Justkiddingshereallyisn'tabusiveandI'monlyachildonTuesdays

So we finally moved into our white castle! There's a giant window with bars over it to keep us from dying or escaping and every night the moon casts a pattern over our beautiful tile floor which makes me feel like I'm part of a Batman movie. 

I LOVE IT

Our first night in this new neighborhood, Hermana Moody decided to contact the little old lady who wears giant Rasta beanies and always yells, "HELLO BABY!" at us when we pass by on our way to appointments. BAD CHOICE. She told us the same story about her family who lives in the selva about six different times. But hey, now we have a cool friend that knows about four words in English (Good Morning is a popular phrase as well). 

Oh yeah, and there was a 5.8 earthquake on Monday as well. It shook our house. And then stopped. And then shook our house again. And only knocked over a few things. But definitely TERRIFIED every Peruvian in the street. Tremors are quite regular here, but they still leap to the Second Coming the moment their feet feel a little shaky. Ah well.

Speaking of Latino drama, the youngling "A" (from a family who we visit and adore; he and his sisters don't have permission from their father in Spain to get baptized but are still a part of the ward and everybody loves them) came home on the arms of two of his school friends the other day. His ankle was the size of a cantaloupe and purple as an angry Russian. He lay on the couch and wailed for a good half hour while his aunt basically ran around screaming and cooking lunch and shaking like that earthquake. We calmed them both down and got the story out of him. Apparently a chubby kid fell on his leg while they were playing soccer and somethin' went kersnap. So now "A" has a cast and crutches, and his aunt and mother have successfully avoided perpetual trauma (again).

Welp, we haven't gotten to move our water heater yet, and the temperature has been WAY down this week, and everybody is passing around an ugly cold, so it overtook me yet again. I like the cold outside (trust me, it is a hundred times better than blazing heat and humidity) but I don't really appreciate it getting inside my throat and nose. I hope this Thanksgiving you all gave thanks for indoor plumbing and heat. Wear a scarf and eat a Christmas orange!

On that note, we are doing a 25 Days of Christmas thing with "A" and his family. Each day we are doing something different to come closer to Jesus Christ. Yesterday, we had 1 ayuno (fast) for whatever we needed. Today we have 2 sincere prayers, and the list goes on. This week we are doing different actions, next week we are developing Christlike attributes together, the third week we are going to focus on different scriptures, and the last couple days we haven't quite mapped out yet. But I am really excited! And Hermana Moody's ma sent us 25 Hershey's kisses each to eat each day. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO THE GRINGAS

Speaking of awkward gringa moments...

My skirt flew over my head as I was hanging up a sign in front of the church for a conference held by an organization which helps abused women and spreads the word about the proper way to show respect to the female gender. They are great people. I don't think they appreciated my mishap too much...thankfully nobody was passing on the street so only the director of the organization saw. She held my skirt down for me as I finished putting up the sign....

A man proposed to us for his son. We were contacting their family, and he asked us if we were single. Uhmmmmm yes. Well, he's single too! (pointing to his 30-something-year-old son "J", who stood in the doorway and raised his eyebrows at us.) Welp. Thanks.

We left a lesson in a sketchier area at night, and found that we were surrounded by Testigos de Jehovah. They were on a blitz, a big group of them knocking on every door in the neighborhood. We cheerfully greeted them and I contained myself from making too many jokes involving my newly-invented phrase, "Night of the Living Christians."

We washed our laundry in our little sink. Socks get really dirty in Perú.

I quite accidentally offended the girl who we just got a fecha bautismal with. We were all full of the Spirit and excitement when "M" and her sister "G" accepted to be baptized on the 14th of December, and then their younger sister told "M" jokingly that she could wear her bikini! I laughed and said, "Nah, we don't want to see any of that!" Everybody else laughed...except "M". She walked out of the room and then came back really quiet. Buuuuuut she did come to church the next day and doesn't seem to hate me too bad. Meta for this week: THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK, HERMANA HEWITT

Also. We took a taxi to Lima to pick up a package for Hna Moody early this morning, then took a bus all the way back up here to our district leader's area for internet. On the bus for about 15 minutes there were two men who played this INCREDIBLE Incan music. Like, with this old drum and a thing kind of like a guitar and one of those wood flute things. And I was just so, so, so happy. We bought their music, and I'm pretty sure the flutist and I are in love now.

#JustkiddingI'mnotabadmissionaryeventhoughHnaMoodywilltellyouIamIjustreallylikedthemusic

Happy Holidays to all! Take time to thank your Heavenly Father for the Atonement and life of Jesus Christ.

Lots of love,

Hermana Hewitt

OH YES

My companion told me I win quote of the week. Because I definitely forgot what a cleft palate is.

"I feel like one of those children on those sad commercials. Like, the ones with cleft chins."

Just Cause: The Merits of Vowel Pronunciation 11-23-13

Well, I am just going to come out and say it...

SURPRISEWEBAPTIZEDANOTHERINVESTIGATOR!

"M". He is so awesome. We have been teaching him since we got here to Puente Piedra, and he has gone through this super long process of repentance and changes in his life. He absolutely loves the gospel and the Church. He told us Monday night, HEY I think it's time for me to get baptized! So we had our marvelous district leader, Elder Scroggins, interview him and sure enough, he was ready and worthy. So Saturday night we went to the most beautiful baptismal service I have ever attended. He really has changed so much to be a member, and he is so incredibly deserving of the blessings that come with baptism and receiving the Holy Ghost. Thank you for all your prayers - I know they make a huge difference.

Other things that have happened this week:

Showered in an orange bucket. We didn't have the ability to get rid of water through the regular system for a few days,soooooooo we just filled up an orange bucket and then tossed it over the edge of the roof. #doingitliketheperuviansdo

Had a resplendant zone conference. Our leaders are bosses. And we are now in a leadership position in the zone, as women with different perspectives. woooohooo

Ate some fish ovaries. Well, Hermana Moody ate it and I just picked mine apart. Ew. 

Got real sick after that. Both of us. Our pensionist tried to convince us we've been eating too much yogurt...her sister told us we probably got WORMS from the fish she gave us, or some other thing in the mountain of food she stuffs down our throats on a daily basis. Apparently that's real common. But I have had a tummyache and a headache for a little while. Maybe the worms will eat the food that still hasn't digested from last week. Thanks wormies.

We spent eight hours throwing stuff off the roof of a six-story building! It was so glorious and triumphant! That's basically what we call a service activity here in the graceful and conservative land of el Perú. 

We went to a birthday party for one of our investigators. She got her face smashed in a cake. What's up?

OH NO I HAVE NO MORE TIME

Quote of the week: Hermana Moody!

"I wonder what Alma the Younger would do if he saw two jovenes making out in the street. I know what Elijah would do. He would send the she-bear after them. That's why I want to be Elijah when I grow up."

I love her.

And I love you all!

Hermana Hewitt

My name is husband's Johansson. 11-18-13 PICTURES!

Our little pal "Mi" needed help with his English homework, unscrambling the words to make a correct sentence. As I checked his answers, I wondered if he really knows a man named husband's Johansson.

Well, we went to the playa in Santa Rosa last P-day and I took un monton de fotos. I'll send some of those today as well. It is absolutely stunning there! Some of our zone played frisbee, others went sand jumping, and others of us sat in a little cove and told stories about our lives. Elder Johnson went to BYU-I-Do and was proposed to three times before he came on the mission. I am never touching that campus.

I really appreciated Hermana Moody this week. Even though she teased me incessantly with her foolish imaginations about my life, she also helped me a lot in my moments of sadness or frustration. I have no doubt that Heavenly Father put us together here with a great plan. I learn so much from Hermana Moody and it's going to be really hard when we eventually have to change! But I know we all move along. 

We met another nice drunk man on the street the other night. It was pretty busy and we were right outside a little tienda so we weren't worried. He tried to speak to us in English but said nothing even remotely coherent in any modern language. This went on for a few minutes and he pleasantly told us some story and asked us incomprehensible questions. Then finally, as we extended the mano to say peace out, he pointed straight at me and said,

"I...

"I...

"I love you."

AND THEN I KNEW MY LIFE WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME

Hermana Moody risked her life (again) to climb in the window of the bishop's office at his medical practice across the street from the church so we could get the keys like he told us to. 

And then I tried the door.

And

it was unlocked.

GOODNESS GRACIOUS SOMEBODY IS LISTENING TO DUBSTEP 

Do you gringos still listen to dubstep? Just curious. It makes me want to dance. BUT I'll hold back just this once.

We had a great conversation about important things this week. So Hermana Moody has apparently watched one episode of Spongebob in her whole life. I asked her which episode it was, and she began to describe it to me so I could figure out which one she was referring to.

"I almost said I had seen the one which starts out singing about living in a barnacle under the sea... Wait. I think I saw the one where Squidward had a bad day. OH! It definitely involved a plankton."

...wait...WAS THERE A SPONGE WITH PANTS ON?!

Here on Sunday afternoons, the LDS women make this particular plate called Arroz a la Cubana. Basically rice, fried egg sunny side up, and platanos fritos (fried bananas). IT IS AMAZING. It's like a good casserole. Gotta love those Mormons.

ANYWAY

Quote of the Week:

"We have to keep working with those names of menos activos that the ward gave us, even though some of them are complete......fairy.....love....." - Hna Moody, trying to exercise her pure love of Christ even when people are giving us nothing to work with. (Please pray that the members will do their part in the missionary work!)

I love you all!

De Perú con todo mi amor,

Hermana Hewitt

Baptism! 11-11-13

SohohohoGUESSWHATWEHADABAPTISM

 "Y" was baptized and it was beautiful! Hermana Moody put me up to speaking in front of a lot of native Spanish speakers and I experienced quite clearly the gift of tongues and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. That. Was. Amazing. I wish I had more time to go into detail, but let's just suffice it to say that through faith all things really are possible.

The bishop's wife, "M", is a classic Peruvian bishop's wife. Very sociable, very emotional, and very enthusiastic about singing operatically.  We sang her favorite song as part of the baptismal service. 

Hermana Moody and I are working with a great base of investigators and really happy here in Puente Piedra. We brought a family of young women and their mother to church yesterday and the ward was SO welcoming and sweet! So pray for they might be baptized. Because they are fantastic people.

OH yes! And we have been living in the same dreary rat hole for the past 14 weeks and FINALLY we are going to move into a much better space! President Archie got back from his training in Cuzco and looked at this new cuarto for us to rent. We saw him, Hermana Archie, and the Zone Leaders as we were leaving our pensionista's house and he told us that they are going to have a kitchen area and curtains put in there as well. As women, well, we are unabashedly and stereotypically thrilled to have some cooking space. 

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

There's a young man in our ward, "Mi", who is our perrito (puppy; aka he loves us) and likes to tell us jokes. He animatedly told me a few days ago that he had a dream that I was sitting on a bus with three young children who were all my own. The oldest was named HALLS ( as in, the cough drops. They have those here.) I don't understand why these things happen.

I also was asked on the spot to direct all the Young Men and Young Women in a musical number in church yesterday. It was Llamados a Servir (Called to Serve) and they sang it very loudly and joyfully, sooooooooooooooo although I have this thing against the unprofessionalism of leading anyone over 12 years of age in a musical number in sacrament meeting, I got over it. I love those kids so much.

Alright, well, I am running out of time and unfortunately this letter was really poorly written. SO I'll just send you all some pictures (beginning with some which I failed to send last week) and hope to hear from you all! If you get a second, write down your testimony and send it my way.

De Peru con amor,

Hermana Hewitt

OH

Quote of the Week

"So, I bought this piece of chocolate from this guy with one leg on the bus, and LOOK! IT HAS INSTRUCTIONS IN HEBREW!" - Elder Avery

He really never fails us.

Oooookay I just realized that I have no time. Pictures from the baptism next week PROMISE (Unfortunately… or fortunately… I was out of town and didn't have the chance to post Lexi's email from last week until now… and she sent the pics this week so… there you go! :-)

Also, if you happen to have a red velvet pumpkin left over from Halloween

SEND IT TO ME

It's a force field...

HEYLOOK I'm still in Puente Piedra! 

WITH HERMANA MOODY!

#yayyyyyyyyyyrejoicewiththechoirsofangelsohwaitjustkiddingthosearetheawkwardgringas

We are unbelievably happy to be spending another transfer together here in paradise. I am now finished with all my training and so I guess that means I am a missionary and what not...

Speaking of which, I just can't wait to tell you something great that happened in District Meeting this week. Elder Scroggins, our beloved district leader, called us the night before and asked me to speak a little bit about the importance of preparation. I had been studying diligence and came up with some cool stuff to say to relate it to preparation. In d.m. I shared what I had learned and the Spirit was really strong! Elder Reyes - one of our zone leaders, who I look up to SO MUCH and is super duper nice but never really pays a whole lot of attention to me because I have been, you know, training and slipping up on my Spanish and just hanging out making mistakes next to Hermana Moody (#ALRIGHTthat'sjustalittlebitdramaticbutstill) - was listening with shocking intent and nodding in response to important points and all that good stuff. Liiiiike, he actually got something out of what I said! And after I had closed my little portion I sat back down and Elder Salazar gave me a fist bump. And THEN. Okay, so Elder Reyes has this expression that we always tease him about. In Spanish, "bacan" (bah-cahn) is slang and means cool or awesome. He likes to use this word for extra special emphasis (i.e. That baptismal service was BACAN.) and always puts his fingers in the OK symbol when he REALLY means it. To receive this expression is something of a sacred privilege. And to my great surprise and joy, Elder Reyes leaned over Elder Salazar and said to me, "Su Español es BACAN!" Hey! I speak Spanish!

#OHMYGOODNESSICANDIEHAPPYNOW

So this week me and Elder Reyes became friends. And then, to the great distress of the entire ward, he got transferred on Saturday. DARN it. But we got a new zone leader, Elder Johnson, who seems pretty cool. And Elders Crozier, Brown, Tunque, Orellana, and Fallas all got transferred out of our zone as well. The rest of us are the same. We now have Elders Spencer, Wilson, Johnson, Billalba, aaaaaaaand....some others who I haven't met yet. We'll see. Anyway. Transfers were harder this time, but the Lord's work goes on.

Hey, by the way, we have a fly in our house who just doesn't seem to want to leave. Hermana Moody suggested we make him our pet to feel less uncomfortable about his presence. I named him Macklemore. We have good times with Macklemore, telling him to keep his filthy paws off our queso and mermelada. He is a polite, strong fella for the most part.

Speaking of music that I caught just before leaving, at a meeting with the zone this week, Elder Salazar started singing "I FEEL SO CLOSE TO YOU RIGHT NOW..."

And I finished the line. IT'S A FORCE FIELD. And then, of course, distanced myself substantially.

You just don't understand how great American music is until you realize that all the Peruvians know it by heart. Why? I don't know.

Also, it seems like a lot of the Latino elders in our zone have girlfriends named Kendra...why? I don't know.

Also, we started a new pension and she gave us two successive lunches from the underworld. Why? I DON'T KNOW.

Let me talk about this for a minute. Peruvians eat a lot of food for lunch. That doesn't describe the meal she presented before us to finish completely on Saturday:

Soup with potatoes and carne. MMMMMM delicious and filling! Thanks Hermana Francisca! See ya tomorrow! WAIT...she gave us forks as well.

Then came the actual meal.

SLAB OF MEAT. POTATO PUREE. MOUNT VESUVIUS OF RICE.

#weepingandwailingandgnashingofexcessivelyfood-coveredteethandohmygoshwearefreakinglateforournextcita

again...

And then, a nice little bowl of delicious mango chunks.

We also met a nice little old lady who has A HUNDRED YEARS of life under her belt! We are going to take a picture with her this week. Also I almost got eaten by Balto's loving horse twin.

Also, N is living the Law of Chastity and the Word of Wisdom even in the very face of incredible temptations. She literally cut off the two most difficult commandments to keep in her life cold turkey and is doing SO well. 

I LOVE CHASTITY. I...I JUST LOVE IT.

Quote of the Week: 

On Halloween, we were talking about all the little kids who would go out and get candy that night and were kinda sad that we didn't get any. Then Hermana Moody came up with an excellent idea!

"We could just go out contacting, knocking doors, and saying, 'TRICK OR SALVATION!!!!!!!!!' "

And that we did.

Well...not.

I LOVE YOU ALL SEND ME LETTERS AND I WILL SEND YOU BLESSINGS

De Perú con amor,

Hermana Hewitt

We are gringas, raising eyebrows around the world.

Come, little children, and I will teach you about the many wonders of FEET.

Feet help us to walk! Feet help us to run! Feet help us to swim! Feet can be ticklish or feet can be stinky. Feet help us to stand tall and do our part. Feet are useful for doing lots of good, healthy things. But guess what else I have learned in my great amount of experience, children? Feet can also nearly break your missionary companion's collarbone and knock down broken bathroom doors when your missionary companion is stuck inside because the niña forgot to tell her the KNOB DIDN'T WORK.

Well, Hermana Moody's collarbone is still intact and I am no longer cowering in the corner of a smelly, baby blue-tiled bathroom without soap.

aaaaaaaaaaaanyway

We taught a lot of people about the Law of Chastity this week and it was beautiful. I really love teaching people about the commandments of God! Because as we learn about His laws for us, we are given the opportunity to change our lives and receive unimaginable blessings from our Heavenly Father. If you don't own a copy of Preach my Gospel, go buy one.

ALSO...

We have three MARVELOUS people to baptize next Saturday!

(Just a little note - I recently received an email caution from an LDS Missionary Moms email list I am part of that recommended that names of investigators and other types of identifying information should not be posted on missionary blogs for their protection and privacy.  Anyway... so I'm going to just use initials to identify people Lex is working with.  I hope that's ok with everyone.  :-)

L. is a miracle. He is the 21-year-old brother of some long-time inactives who recently we have begun to bring back to church, and one day he just up and decided he´d like to start doing what Heavenly Father wants him to do. He talked about the church to his member grandma, and she told the Elders, who told us that he apparently was asking to be baptized! So we met and started to teach him, and he really truly loves the gospel. I enjoy teaching him because he is so receptive and he asks questions and soaks it all up and keeps his commitments and likes church and is AWESOME.

We are also going to baptize N., a young mother of 2 toddlers who has decided it's about time she changes her life as well. She's phenomenal. She struggled to keep her commitments for some time and then recently we taught her about the Law of Chastity and it was like this huge epiphany that she really can repent and know that the Lord will forget all of her past sins. It has been a stunning experience to watch her grow and begin to really love the teachings of God.

Y. is the 15-year-old cousin of N. We have taught her on and off for several weeks and she progressed at the beginning, but then stopped just before her best friend, A., died a few weeks ago. We had taught A. and her family, all less actives in our ward, a few times and A.'s passing away was very sudden and very shocking. It has taken an serious blow on Y. and for awhile we had a difficult time reaching her. But this week Hermana Moody and I felt very strongly that we needed to try again to open Y.'s heart and invite her again to be baptized and start her life anew. We pleaded with the Lord for guidance in everything to do with our dear Y. and met with her several times, doing everything we could to help her recognize her answer. She prayed about Joseph Smith and about being baptized, and she said she knows it's true (she's also been sharing the gospel with several mutual friends of A. in recent weeks) but just wasn't sure if she was positive about being baptized so soon. We invited her to continue praying and we did the same, and after church yesterday we talked with her. We presented her the news that N. is going to be baptized on the 9th of November and immediately a light came to her eyes and she told us she would love to be baptized the same day. I know that the Lord is watching over us and guiding our work. If we hadn't decided to teach N. the Law of Chastity and invite her to be baptized on the exact day that we did, neither of them would have received the answers they needed and they wouldn't both be cheerfully preparing for their baptisms.

I feel my Savior's love.

There are only a few problems in my life right now.

1. Stressed about cambios. I really would like to be here for these baptisms with Hermana Moody. BUT we'll see what the Lord has in store.

2. Being eaten alive every night by something in our tiny room. My ankles look leprous and I have never been one to deal well with itching. BUT we are looking at a new house with the zone leaders today and if all goes well we will be moving into a much cleaner, more comfortable space very soon.

3. Everyone thinks I'm a big creep because I saw one of our zone leaders holding his companion's suit coat up to his face and then I (being the wildly intelligent and thoughtful individual that I am) took the coat from his hands and took a big whiff, ATTEMPTING to be funny and imitate what I saw him doing.

Problem? He, being Peruvian and confused about gringo humor in general, didn't understand my joke AT ALL and right in that moment, Hermana Moody turned around to see me sniffing the zone leader's jacket and just stared at me as though she had caught me chewing on the ear of one of the street dogs.

AGH. BUT hey, at least I make some people laugh. 

4. Feeling like the Peruvian women are trying to kill me or ruin my chances of ever being beautiful again. See the picture of me with a clean plate... (Lex sent pictures this week, but they wouldn't load properly and couldn't be opened so they are not on this post.  :-( ) 

I had just finished a MOUNTAIN of arroz chaufa because the Elders told us that Hermana Aranda would cry if we didn't eat the three hundred pounds of food she gave us. Further evidence of this maldicion...

Our pensionist LITERALLY TOLD US THAT OUR FOOD WAS GOING TO KILL US.

She's one of the good friends who stabs from the front.

BUT it's all for the better. Look like a whale=get less whistles and cat calls in the street. 

Plenty of resolutions. Everybody's happy.

Quote of the Week:

"The dead are calling you!" - guy in church, trying desperately to animate the members to do baptisms in the temple.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

De Perú con amor,

Hermana Hewitt

Upstream Belugas 10-21-13

Well everybody, my companion found her true love this week. She declared to me in the security of our tiny room that she will be back living in Perú without a care in the world in about 15 months.

Yes, I am concerned as well.

Especially because the love of her life is some salted queso that she bought from our abuelito amigo who owns a tienda on the corner of our street.

I, too, came to a conclusion of the way I would like to spend the rest of my life one morning this week. I would really like to just study the scriptures and draw pictures forever. While I do indeed intend to feast from the scriptures that I have grown to love so incredibly much here on my mission, I feel like the idea of sitting and drawing pictures for a living could potentially deserve a 

hashtag broke.

But for right now, we are incredibly satisfied in doing the work of the Lord.

Speaking of which, I have something to say to you (and yes, I mean you). You should do three things this week:

1. Find a folleto de la Ley de Castidad (Law of Chastity), read it, and follow it completely. Your life will change.

2. Begin to read the Book of Mormon more fervently. Find reasons to love it even half as much as I do.

3. Do everything in your power to be exactly obedient to the commandments of God.

Presidente Archibald came to Puente Piedra on Thursday to interview every person in our zone. I didn't realize how much I needed his counsel until I got it and it was simply a gargantuan wave of understanding. He offered me as well as my companion advice on how we can tweak tiny parts of our teaching to maximize the Spirit and help our investigators to make and keep commitments leading them to the ordinances of baptism. 

Two of the most important things I learned from my mission president were that one) my calling is very, very, very serious. It isn't as though I have been lazy or disobedient or rebellious or immature, but perhaps it is that I have not completely taken to heart that each and every single person I teach has the opportunity to change his or her life in that very moment that I invite him or her to be baptized. President said to me that as I walk out the door of someone who chooses to not accept the gospel, I am leaving them in the exact same spot of spiritual progression in which they may stay for eternity. That, my dear friends, is weight. 

President also taught me a crucial aspect of missionary work. The statement that has stuck with me: "You HAVE to trust that the Holy Ghost WILL do His job." Because He absolutely will, without exception, if there is faith involved. But if I don't believe that the Holy Ghost is going to change someone's heart, what right have I to expect them to believe that He will?

Missionary work is the work of the saving of souls. It simply cannot be denied. I have only 19 years, but I know that what I am doing right now is the most important work in all of time and space. 

For all I say that is sincere and serious, I am still the beloved freckle-faced animal you all know probably just a little bit too well.

Proof?

See photo below. Les presentamos la hermana Hewitt, choking on her delicious Inka Cola.

Quotes of the Week (hay 3):

"We are like two belugas swimming up a stream filled with trout." - Hermana Moody, commenting on our traverse up a busy calle at night with tons of people going the opposite direction.

"I be putting on my Chapstick every morning. Gloss it up. My lips feel gorgeous." - Elder Avery

"Yeah, I have read a lot of Jane Watson. We had to read Pride and Prejudice in high school, and then I watched the movie, and...I fell in love." - Elder Scroggins

Lots of love!

Hermana Hewitt

The great search for Hermana Moody's pants 10-14-13

Alright, milhojas. First off, I am just going to tell you the truth. 

NO BAPTISM.

Yep, we cried.

Xiomara's parents decided to take her and her brother to live with them in Spain now. So I guessssss her dad might baptize her there. In any case, they called on Friday and said she isn't going to be baptized here. There was mucha tristeza en nuestra casa for a few minutes. And then Hermana Moody reminded me that there are no coincidences, and Heavenly Father knows what He is doing. He really, truly does. We said a prayer asking for comfort and the ability to keep working, and since that afternoon we have felt strengthened despite our afflictions. We got to take a picture with Xiomi at church yesterday and tonight we are going to visit their family here and have a little farewellish thing.

Let me tell you something.

We are currently teaching SIX DIFFERENT ADULTS who ALL want to be baptized but need to change their living situation first. These two Hermanas are praying our guts out for miracles to happen.

So, good things and less good things. But all will be consecrated for our benefit and that of others if we are faithful and obedient. 

I KNOW THIS.

Crazy things that happened this week:

-In two consecutive days we had two very awkward experiences with two different barrachos. 

NOBODY PANIC THEY DIDN'T TOUCH US THEY COULDN'T EVEN SEE STRAIGHT.

But they both wanted to hear about the word of God. And both times Hermana Moody said of course we could talk to them about our loving Heavenly Father...when they were sober and could actually understand what the heck was going on.

Well...those encounters both ended really anticlimatically. 

murmurmurmurhuh?qué?klañshei robnjdaf dsi tioh ijadkf jhewrigkadshbvañeritoea

Well okay señor talk to you later RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

-A young child ate a roll and drank some juice and continued to run around with his friends until moments later he pleasantly bent forward and rejected his stomach of the nourishment it was about to receive. All over the FRESHLY WASHED DIRT FLOOR AWWWW DARN IT

-We heard approximately seven stories about wacky dreams that people had here. Peruvians dream a lot, which is freaking awesome. The only problem is when they decide that they are having manifestations from angels every time they dream that their dog is writing in the clouds.

-OH HEY WE ARE IN A VIDEO THAT FIVE COUNTRIES ARE GOING TO WATCH SOON. Elder Alarcón of the Area Seventy came to our ward to film a consejo de barrio (ward council) for this whole amazing new Work of Salvation thing and interview us missionaries. So that's no big deal I guess. We asked if he was doing this in a lot of different places and he just looked at us blankly and was like...nope...only this ward...

#jefes

Our bishop told us that apparently our ward is progressing disgustingly fast, and Elder Alarcón wants to show everybody what that looks like. Welp, we'd better keep running.

-In the Sunday School lesson the teacher said we need to have power like buffalos. I'm going to be honest with you all right now.

I don't know what she was talking about.

-We met a hyperventilating cockeyed Shih Tzu named Baby Blue. We're just going to say it was the most gorgeous creature I have ever witnessed.

SURPRISE IT'S OPPOSITE DAY

-As we walked back to our house after a nice long day of lessons, we passed a father rocking his baby in his arms. Awe how sweet. Then we looked down at the curb to find his wife, holding out her toddler son sideways in the air like an over-sized, dirty pair of sneakers and encouraging him to continue PEEING IN THE STREET.

OH MY GOODNESS WHY.

People just do that stuff here. 

Sometimes we just can't believe Perú could get any less classy. But then it turns right around and DOES IT AGAIN.

-We, the missionaries of the Estaca Puente Piedra, put on a talent show to kill the beat. Some people sang, yours truly sang, some more people sang...just kidding we didn't ALL sing. But I did play the one song I have ever written for the guitar and that was alright. And Elder Crozier blew our minds with that business. And there was some Backstreet Boy action going on that we're not even going to discuss. All in all, it was absolutely excellent.

I will explain trifle NEXT WEEK.

Quote of the Week is of our companionship, trying to see if Ines was in her house when she didn't come out:

"Hey, did you know that this is frosted glass?

They must have made a mistake, cause..........

we can't see a dang thing."

Oh yeah, also, Hermana Moody lost some pants in our tiny room and for three days we were searching and couldn't find them. We thought someone was breaking in, and then...we found them in an inexplicably likely place. 

THE DRESSER

Love you all. Thanks for your prayers. Please be safe.

Best conference of my life!!! 10-7-13

If an individual ever had the ability to express his or her whole soul in an email,

I would probably trade him or her a bar of dark chocolate and an entire jar of peanut butter to find out the secret.

I really have found a change beginning to stir in my heart. I think the biggest sign is that I have this deep and profound desire to be obedient to not only every law and commandment given from Heavenly Father, but also the whisperings of the Holy Ghost in each moment of my day. I just really want to do what God wants me to do. That doesn't mean that I have talent for being obedient, but it means that I am laying down my weapons of war and actually trying to join sides with my Heavenly Father. To anybody who would like to lead a happier life, pray for the ability to be obedient. That is my best advice.

Also, if YOU did not get the chance to watch the 183rd Semi-Annual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints this weekend, please make that happen.

 http://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2013/10?cid=HPFR100413105&lang=eng  

If you don't think it's important, we have an emergency.

HERE IS THE SOLUTION

1. Go to lds.org.

2. Find the information for the nearest branch of the Church.

3. Figure out how to get in touch with the bishop.

4. Ask him how to get in touch with the missionaries.

5. Plead with the missionaries to come to your house and teach you about the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

6. Listen to what they have to say and then accept their invitation to pray in faith to your loving Father in Heaven and find out for yourself that we have a prophet on the earth today.

7. Well, the missionaries will help you with the rest.

It is really, really easy!

All the Lord has asked us to do is look to Him and live. Look to Him in every moment for help, guidance, strength, and knowledge. I promise you that He will help you if you have faith and you are sincere.

SHOULD PROBABLY LET Y'ALL KNOW

we have a baptism this week <3

AND WE ARE THRILLED.

Little Miss Xiomara, of nueve años, has inactive parents who live in Spain. We have been trying to get their permission to have her grandpa baptize her for several weeks now, but they just hadn't come to a decision.

Elder Scroggins suggested a district fast for all of our different struggles, and so we fastedon Thursday. In the middle of the day, we called Xiomi's wonderful aunt Merci and she said that her parents have given permission! So this adorable little lady is going to be baptizedthis Saturday.

(p.s. fasting works)

We also found out (YESTERDAY) that the stake has decided to put on a talent show (THAT NIGHT) and they want US (the missionaries) to come up with FIFTEEN DIFFERENT ACTS.

WHAT.

Wish us suerte.

Quote of the Week:

We were teaching Antonio about the Palabra de Sabiduría. He agreed to live it...poco a poco...and so we had to have a nice discussion about the blessings of immediate obedience and things como así. He then agreed to live it completely right then and there, then thought for a moment, and then pouted like a child and said,

"Pero...whiskey es rico."

OH YOU POOR THING WITHOUT YOUR TASTY WHISKEY.

He's going to have a good long life.

All the rest of the quotes are pretty much only funny if you're a missionary and know the passages about baptism in the Book of Mormon like the back of your hand. Although I always get a kick out of Elder Brown and the fact that his idea of the thug life is...surprise selfies with random people.

smile click click flash yay

Alright, we're late to go pay for our apartment. Somebody remind me to explain why the word TRIFLE is so darn hilarious en la zona Puente Piedra.

Love you all!

De Perú con amor,

Hermana Hewitt

Sometimes we almost kill our Sister Trainers 9-30-13

I just realized that I didn't tell you that ALMOST OUR ENTIRE ZONE SURVIVED CAMBIOS!!!

We had transfers last week and only one Elder, Elder Miller, left to work in Barranca. So Elder Muñoz has a new companion, Elder Gallardo. He is from Paraguay and has...lots of months on the mission. Can't remember how many. But he speaks an adequate amount of English. And we have a new training companionship in our zone. Elder Benites is training Elder MacDonald, who is from Arizona and very clearly was hit by the Spanish train hard. We'll help him along. Also, I definitely walked up to him and said, "Hi! I'm Lexi!....OHMYGOODNESSLOSIENTOIMEANHERMANAHEWITT!"

Way to go.

Probably made him feel a lot better about himself and the whole speakingproperwords thing.

Anyyyywayyyyy

The Zone Leaders called us last Monday night and informed us that the NEXT DAY we were going to have a work visit with the Sister Trainers in El Callao!

I was crumpled in a heap on our dingy floor hyperventilating. 

Basically a work visit is when you exchange companions with the smart people and they show you how to be a missionary.

Yes. Real scary.

Well okay. So I traveled to El Callao to train with Hermana Solis, who is from Paraguay and a phenomenal maestra. It was actually really fun! We taught some awesome lessons and apparently some of their investigators thought I had a year on the mission in regards to my Spanish. So, that was a nice big ego boost. 

I know what you were really thinking

AND THEN

Hermana Solis had begun to get a headache in the afternoon. When we got back to our house in the evening, she really wasn't feeling well. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, she was smiling and telling me "Ummm....estoy mal," and holding 

this strange bag

of liquid....

and had spit dripping down her chin...

Subsequently she ran into the bathroom and threw up several more times. And then,

silencio

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I KILLED THE SISTER TRAINER!!!!!!!!

Yet another moment of sheer, unadulterated panic.

But soon she emerged from the bathroom smiling and said she felt much better, but would like to cross the street and buy some headache medicine. 

Well, okay. So we did that and I happened to see a small plastic bag on the sidewalk. Half-joking and half-scaredoutofmyfreakingmind, I picked up the bag and told her it was here if she needed it.

Whaddyaknow? THAT SHE DID.

She filled that bag, girl. Eventually, finally, she stopped de volviendo and went to bed happy as a clam.

All in all, it was a great experience!

Also, I am running a business now. The people in my zone are under the impression that I have talents for drawing, and now I am involuntarily committed to making pretty pictures for three different people. Well, Elder Tunque asked me to do one and thus began the end of my peaceful world. So, just be aware that YES I get to desarrollar mis talentos on the mission! I just get to do it in the little spare time I might have used to, you know, breathe and stuff.

ALSO,

You know the little kid who found me on Facebook? Well, his 7 year old little brother Gabriel is a hoot. He spent ten minutes of sacrament meeting yesterday staring at me through his plastic binoculars...from a great distance of four inches from my face. And he took the prize for Quote of the Week during a lesson the other day. QUICK SPANISH LESSON. 

Cuantos=how many

Años=years

Tener=infinitive verb, "to have"

"¿Hermana Moody, cuántos años tiene Drácula?"

AY I died laughing.

Anybody know the answer? If so, please let me know so we can answer all the doubts of our investigators.

Runners-up: 

ELDER SALAZAR (ZL)

"Yes, I am practicing English! ....in my head......."

HERMANA MOODY

Well, it's more of an action than a quote. She broke into our house through the window when I lost the keys and she really wanted to brush her teeth and not sleep on the floor in another room.

Con Perú de amor,

Hermana Hewitt

Puente Piedra