Sometimes we almost kill our Sister Trainers 9-30-13

I just realized that I didn't tell you that ALMOST OUR ENTIRE ZONE SURVIVED CAMBIOS!!!

We had transfers last week and only one Elder, Elder Miller, left to work in Barranca. So Elder Muñoz has a new companion, Elder Gallardo. He is from Paraguay and has...lots of months on the mission. Can't remember how many. But he speaks an adequate amount of English. And we have a new training companionship in our zone. Elder Benites is training Elder MacDonald, who is from Arizona and very clearly was hit by the Spanish train hard. We'll help him along. Also, I definitely walked up to him and said, "Hi! I'm Lexi!....OHMYGOODNESSLOSIENTOIMEANHERMANAHEWITT!"

Way to go.

Probably made him feel a lot better about himself and the whole speakingproperwords thing.

Anyyyywayyyyy

The Zone Leaders called us last Monday night and informed us that the NEXT DAY we were going to have a work visit with the Sister Trainers in El Callao!

I was crumpled in a heap on our dingy floor hyperventilating. 

Basically a work visit is when you exchange companions with the smart people and they show you how to be a missionary.

Yes. Real scary.

Well okay. So I traveled to El Callao to train with Hermana Solis, who is from Paraguay and a phenomenal maestra. It was actually really fun! We taught some awesome lessons and apparently some of their investigators thought I had a year on the mission in regards to my Spanish. So, that was a nice big ego boost. 

I know what you were really thinking

AND THEN

Hermana Solis had begun to get a headache in the afternoon. When we got back to our house in the evening, she really wasn't feeling well. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, she was smiling and telling me "Ummm....estoy mal," and holding 

this strange bag

of liquid....

and had spit dripping down her chin...

Subsequently she ran into the bathroom and threw up several more times. And then,

silencio

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I KILLED THE SISTER TRAINER!!!!!!!!

Yet another moment of sheer, unadulterated panic.

But soon she emerged from the bathroom smiling and said she felt much better, but would like to cross the street and buy some headache medicine. 

Well, okay. So we did that and I happened to see a small plastic bag on the sidewalk. Half-joking and half-scaredoutofmyfreakingmind, I picked up the bag and told her it was here if she needed it.

Whaddyaknow? THAT SHE DID.

She filled that bag, girl. Eventually, finally, she stopped de volviendo and went to bed happy as a clam.

All in all, it was a great experience!

Also, I am running a business now. The people in my zone are under the impression that I have talents for drawing, and now I am involuntarily committed to making pretty pictures for three different people. Well, Elder Tunque asked me to do one and thus began the end of my peaceful world. So, just be aware that YES I get to desarrollar mis talentos on the mission! I just get to do it in the little spare time I might have used to, you know, breathe and stuff.

ALSO,

You know the little kid who found me on Facebook? Well, his 7 year old little brother Gabriel is a hoot. He spent ten minutes of sacrament meeting yesterday staring at me through his plastic binoculars...from a great distance of four inches from my face. And he took the prize for Quote of the Week during a lesson the other day. QUICK SPANISH LESSON. 

Cuantos=how many

Años=years

Tener=infinitive verb, "to have"

"¿Hermana Moody, cuántos años tiene Drácula?"

AY I died laughing.

Anybody know the answer? If so, please let me know so we can answer all the doubts of our investigators.

Runners-up: 

ELDER SALAZAR (ZL)

"Yes, I am practicing English! ....in my head......."

HERMANA MOODY

Well, it's more of an action than a quote. She broke into our house through the window when I lost the keys and she really wanted to brush her teeth and not sleep on the floor in another room.

Con Perú de amor,

Hermana Hewitt

Puente Piedra

True conversion 9-23-13

WELL, yet again Hermana Moody proved that she is a remarkably quotable person. She stated the theme for this entire week yesterday as we went to visit with some members who haven't been coming to church:

"Alright, let's go shatter someone's world."

Really, it's been a week of flames...burning...around my face...in so many ways.

Sorry, folks... hope I don't offend anyone... couldn't resist adding this little image! Ha!

Well, I became rather ill and took on the very precious role of CRYPTKEEPER for just a few days. My voice sounded as haggard as the word itself. Mentally I was mostly stable and physically I rested Monday night and then pressed forward to carry on the work. It was awfully frustrating to not be able to help in several lessons, but I learned a lot from listening to Hermana Moody and it also gave us the opportunity to work more with our members. I actually sang with several of the Elders at a Noche Blanca, o sea a joint baptism with our zone, on Saturday night and didn't pass out, so I guess that means I am better now.

Hermana Moody and I read together a talk from Elder Bednar from October 2012 G.C. and did our fair share of llorando (we do that a lot). He talked about the difference of a testimony and conversion unto the Lord. A testimony is a knowledge of the fundamental principles of the gospel, and it is the foundation for conversion, which is an alteration of our very nature to desire to give up our sins and follow our Savior. I'm not going to lie, it is pretty easy for me to abandon drinking tequila and working for the underground mob scene here in Perú, but it's the smaller things I shouldn't be doing that are harder to leave behind.

THE SMALL THINGS MAKE THE DIFFERENCE

I PROMISE YOU

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/converted-unto-the-lord?lang=eng

Find the little things which hold you back from receiving revelation, feeling the Spirit, and finding success and abandon them. Then go read that talk and find the five basic ELEMENTS in becoming converted (yes, Hermana Moody read "elephants").

We also had a multizone conference with Pdte Uceda, a member of the Seventy and a fireball. If you want to talk about burning someone with the Spirit, read the sheepish notes of those hundredish missionaries who attended. He's one of those people who speaks calmly and pierces to the very soul. It was a really cool experience.Also scared many of us. But that's how I am best motivated.

Fear of drowning - learn how to swim

Fear of plane crashes - learn how to nosedive safely (thanks Grandpa Peter)

Fear of coming home as a blonde Shamu - 2 IMPORTANT STEPS: 1. Learn how to wake up on time so we can do some exercises. 2. Learn how to speak Spanish so we can ask our pensionist to give us less food for lunch and not leave her house in a straight WADDLE every day

Fear of failing as a missionary and daughter of God - learn how to use Predicad Mi Evangelio, The District videos, and the scriptures better

NEVER FORGET WHO YOU ARE.

I got a cool orange and pink and yellow plastic guitar. I found it on the roof of Hermana Ines when we cleaned it up with the ZLs. 

I also contacted a bus driver BY MYSELF the other night. El don de lenguas, mis amores.

De Perú con amor,

Hermana Hewitt (aka Guapa Pig 2)

P.S. Quote of the week...

"The only thing I really miss about having an iPhone is sending people pictures of maims all the time." - Hermana Moody (ahem. She meant memes.)

No slacking! 9-16-13

So sorry for the delay... I had a crazy week, but I am posting both Lexi's emails from this week and last week today!  Thanks for your patience, Lex's fan club!  :-)

Hello ladies and gents,

Well! This week I learned that Hermana Moody and I have got a whole lot of potential. Or, at least, that's what we concluded after several days of being shown every weakness a person could possibly possess within ourselves.

Man, we had some tough moments. People and their agency, throwing off our groove. 

But the really amazing thing is that, as we had our lessons fall through and our investigators fail to keep commitments and our pensionista feed us obscene amounts of comida, Heavenly Father in His mercy allowed us to see the areas where we can improve. We studied faith and obedience and how the two are inseparably intertwined.

We decided to fast on Friday. By far the most difficult fast I have ever had! I woke up hungry and spent the day with a headache to kill the beat! I could complain for years but I will not because I don't want to. The important thing is that we fasted for the fire to be obedient and the help of the Savior in doing so. That day we did everything in our power to be perfectly obedient. It was not easy! Sometimes we giggle about the Elders and sometimes I want to punch people in the face and sometimes we are too busy talking about crazy Peruvian antics to really listen to the guidance of the Spirit. But as we exercised our faith and fasted prayerfully, we felt prompted by the Spirit and carried by the Savior. We saw no manifestations of lost loved ones. We heard no concourses of angels singing our praises. We ended our day with a hard-earned sandwich and the tremendous peace that we had focused and done everything that Heavenly Father had asked of us. Vamos a ver nuestro éxito al ejercer nuestra fe y ser completamente obedientes.

Also, a bunny chowed down on the corner of my scriptures during a lesson. She ate a bit of the page about going to be judged by God at the last day.

Coincidence?

I think not.

Also, go eat a honeydew melon. I promise it will not change your life like the closely related melon I ate the other day. It just won't be Peruvian. But you should try anyway.

Also, Richard G. Scott and David A. Bednar and Linda S. Reeves gave a conference for all the stakes in Peru on Sunday. It was beautiful. I love them.

Also, one of our investigators, Andres, found me on Facebook (how? I haven't the foggiest) and has started to call me Hermana Andrea. I don't care how adorable that 12-year-old is. He ain't supposed to call me by m' first name. Pray for his soul.

Also, quote of the week goes again to Hermana Moody:

NO QUIERO SER FATTY MCFATFAT!

But Elder Brown comes in close second with a series of quotes about the merits of our beloved nation.

'MURICA.Getflavor-blasted!TakeaGusher.Hey,whitefriends.Ican'twaittoenjoymyGoldfish-Redvinecombination.Hermana.Hermana.Hermana!It'sokay.Getflavor-blasted.

Peace and love to the well dressed guys

Hermana Hewitt

Service projects and interesting names! 9-9-13

HELLO MY KARAMANDUNCAS

Sohoho, I love being a missionary! That's about it. Talk to y'all proxima semana.

Hehehe buen chiste

We had a zone conference on Tuesday and that filled us with all sorts of spiritual fuego. We are the only Hnas in our zone, and it was really precious because the Assistants attended our humble meeting and, with the help of the zone leaders who we love so much, exhorted the Elders to be our brothers. Awe. I am so grateful for them. They really are such a huge help to us, even if only to lift our spirits and set a good example.

Hermana Hewitt with Hermana ? and Elders Lee and Larson (from good ol' Logan UT!)

Hermana Moody and I are inviting people to be baptized almost every first lesson we teach.

This is good. Because I sincerely believe that Pdte y Hna Archibald both entered this world yelling "BAPTIZE!"

We have two fechas and others committed that we need to check up on to make sure. Yesterday was hard because pretty much no one or their dead grandma came to church. And yet, we are happy because we trust in our God and know He is guiding us.

Can I just tell you some names that we have found upon happenstance this week? Please?

Vargas Winchonglong

Rosana Milagros Bravo Puppy

Ángel Moroni

Nefi Lehi

SERIOUSLY.

These really are the children of the Ancient Americas.

We went to help the Elders do some service at a member's home the other morning. They got to try and remove a tree stump...we got to remove dusty, corkless bottles of cooking sherry from a cabinet and chop raw meat and onions. Yeah. Women.

This is us with Elders Munoz, Miller, Reyes, y Salazar.
They are the missionaries in our ward (and Reyes y Salazar are our zone leaders).
Yeah.  It looks like we actually helped.  But no.  Ah. One day.

I really like the random things Peruvians learn in English. One of our neighbors saw us when we were buying lunch the other day and she looked at me and said in a completely pancake-flat tone, "You're beautiful ma'am. I hate you."

Well......

gracias

I think

Will you please tell the world to teach their children the gospel? We need more good parents. And members of the North Logan 3rd Ward, please help the missionaries! In fact, all members. And nonmembers. Talk to the missionaries. They really want your help. Don't try to dominate them, but offer to accompany them for lessons. Having a member in a lesson is the best opportunity for us to teach with power and to show people that the missionaries are not the only people in the church with testimonies. Pray for missionary opportunities!

So, I was told once that my surname means woodcutter in Dutch.

I told this to Hermana Moody and, like an epiphany, she exclaimed, " THAT MAKES SENSE! Like... (insert invisible ax in hand with chopping motions in the air) HEW...it...!"

I had sincerely never considered that before.

Happiest moment of my life was when Hna Moody told me that the other night I was yelling a prayer in Spanish in my sleep. As in, yelling.

I love you all.

Hermana Hewitt

Quote of the Week:

We were going out to buy breakfast this morning.

Hna Moody: "I happen to have twenty dollars in my pocket."

Yo, con mucho anime: "ARE WE GONNA POP SOME TABS?! ........THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!"

Week three... pictures! 9-2-13

First baptism!

Ines es bautizada!!!

It was such a beautiful experience. Hermana Moody and I plan to follow the steps of our Zone Leaders and baptize weekly. I know that with faith it is quite possible. I love this gospel and I love sharing it. 

#bestjobintheworld

We also have a really wonderful ward. Nothing beats the North Logan 3rd, that's for sure! But we have a lot of active members and a lot of great people to reactivate! And there is enough organization to get us by and lots of opportunities to serve. We are teaching a class for music and a class for English this week. Yeah...basically...I am really excited to speak English for an hour. The first few months of the mission are basically a big party. The name of it is LEARN SPANISH OR DIE.

In any case.

I would like to send you some photos today, sohoho this letter will be short! But suffice it to say that I am still exceedingly lleno con gozo. There really is no other place I would rather be.

Would you like to come home with me and be my very own baby dog?  Please?

Woof!  No!  Woof!

Also, please find the opportunity to say to someone "Quiero apapacharlo." Just don't let it be a creep.

Speaking of which....we are safe. I have fists of fury. If someone tried to touch me...they would cease to exist. And I know that you know that I know that you know that is the truth.

Quote of the Week:

"We are living in a rat hole." - Hermana Moody

Hermanas Hewitt, Ojeda, and Moody, and ??

Week two in the field 8-26-13

Buenas, todos que son mi vida,

It's your very favorite gringa!

Goodness gracious. First of all I just have to tell you what the people are like here in good ol' Puente Piedra, Lima, Perú. The ones we contact and teach are generally really, really, REALLY fantastic. Ah. They are so incredibly giving and humble and really fun to be around. The men on the streets, however, generally have the same basic idea about myself and Hermana Moody, which is that we are in need of solely two things ALL THE TIME:

a) A cab ride. They honk at us and slow down and wait for us when we are actually standing there having a conversation with someone on the sidewalk, quite obviously not searching for a taxi.

b) A reminder that we are still, indeed, gringas. Literally. They will whistle. And whistle. And yell "GRINGAS" or other random phrases in English (Hello. I love you. My preencess.) or Spanish (Hola bebe. Bonitas. Hermosas. Lindas. Mi amor. Sus ojos. Su cabello.)

OhwaitasecondI'mstillwhite? ¿Que pumas?

Pero.

Still love the Peruanos. Reppin' it hardcore.

Some more wonderful and quite ordinary things we've encountered this week:

A man sleeping on his side in the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of the sidewalk, in the middle of throngs of people right next to the Panamerican Highway. Let's just say the Peruvians know how to party.

Hector the Italian from Boston who visited the Salt Lake City temple daily for a month nine years ago because he loved it and who takes care of sick puppies and has an extraordinarily Italian mustache and really, really, really wants to be taught the gospel.

Many JDubbs. They are not exactly interested in listening to us. But we like being their friends when they don't turn the other cheek completely.

A 12-year-old chico watching, with great focus, My Little Pony en español.

The calle Rollin Thorne (who needs the Rolling Stones?)

A whole heck of a lot of quince años kissing on each other's faces. Perú is inexplicably, unbelievably, wildly uncomfortably amorous. That's probably the most tough thing about being a missionary here.

Quite a few individuals with flat eyelashes like Big Bird.

SUPER DUPER FANTASTIC MUSICIANS ON THE BUS. This guy was playing a violin and su esposa was playing this wooden thing and they were singing some freakin' sick harmonies which I think were in Quechua. Real live Peruvian music. Like, Inca business going down in this hizzle.

On the same bus, a man wheezing loudly to all, "Ayyyyuuuuuuuudddddaaaaaaaaaameeeeeeeeeeeeeee" (Help me)

Repeatedly.

I was frightened.

On another bus in the afternoon, a young man with a carry-on microphone headset and a little speaker who just flat-out began to rap with much intensity. Oh man. That was incredibly difficult not to giggle about. People here will do anything and a bag of banana chips to advertise their wares or simply get attention. NO SHAME. I love it.

Many

many

many

too

many

women

nursing

toddlers.

nuff said

In other news, WE HAVE A FECHA BAUTISMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I cried a lot of joyful tears. My first baptism! For this Saturday! 

The only problem:

She didn't come to church yesterday!

AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Her son is having a tough transition phase because he went back home to the United States to live with his dad last night, and so I guess he was being difficult and didn't want her to leave yesterday morning. Which I can actually understand in some ways. But it's just a testament to the fact that Satan really doesn't want us to receive these ordinances because he knows how incredibly vital they are to our salvation.

On this camino, I believe I have experienced my first real devastation as a missionary.

There is a 12-year-old girl, Claudia, in our ward who has an active mother and inactive father. Her father refuses to let her be baptized, in his words "until she fully understands the baptismal covenant." Entonces, we met with them yesterday and explained with as much clarity, scripture, and power of the Spirit as we could muster. We did everything we could to teach Claudia exactly what she needs to know, and her father still hardened his heart against our words. After we left I absolutely wept for Claudia and for her father. I felt probably a miniscule portion of the pain our Heavenly Father feels when we choose not to accept His Spirit, His teachings, and His exhortations to us to choose those things which will allow us to progress. There are a lot of frustrating things about the situation. A lot of holes in this man's logic. But I don't want to focus on that. I want to do everything I can, to pray with all the energy of my soul, that his heart will be softened and he will come to a remembrance of why he was baptized and why these things are true. It was a sad experience, but I refuse to give up hope.

Later in the evening we met with Wayner, then the family of Hna Irma and Hno Danny, then Marco and Sari. Man, I have never been asked for so much marriage advice in my life! (Besides from you, Ma, and still it's a situation I actually understand in fulness.) As missionaries we are relied on for a lot more than just reciting scriptures and reading aloud from Preach My Gospel. Of course, we can't tell people what to say to their difficult esposos, but I am coming to realize that the gospel of Jesus Christ truly applies to every problem and every question that we have. It is really beautiful to recognize this in my life as I have the grand privilege of helping others to see it in theirs. I love this gospel and I love the Lord and I love being a missionary.

TAMBIÉN

I saw Elder Lee from the Lima Norte mission at a conference on Saturday! And I shook the hand of Elder Tad R. Callister and Elder C. Scott Grow! And they are awesome! And Elder Larsen and Hermana Hooper are also still alive. It was wonderful to see them. I don't really know how or why, but the tres de nosotros have become super duper tight.

I have about six thousand pictures I need to send really soon. I apologize sincerely for not sending them more consistently, but with such a short time and such slow computers, it is increasingly more difficult to do so. I can assure you that, eventually, you will receive them!

Best quote of the week (though there have been WAY too many to count - Hna Moody and I have a lot of phenomenal conversations about our investigadores and zone. Our ZLs are wonderful. They are the Little Animals. And our DL is Elder Scroggins, aka Chancho. I need to stop with the nicknames.):

Yo: "I don't think those little kids are actually not Christian. Everyone  here is Christian."

Hna Moody: "...maybe they're Judists."

Yo: "WHAT? Buddhists? Nudists?"

Okay, everybody. Jews. Jewish people.

L'chaim.

De Perú con amor,

Hermana Hewitt

A note from the Mission Pres wife

Hermana Hewitt y Presidente y Hermana Archibald

Sister Wilson,

Just wanted to let you know that your daughter did arrive in the Mission.  She is so well prepared and ready to learn and work.  We love her already.

I know that e-mail is not as personal as regular mail but the mail here often comes back several weeks after being sent so I decided that e-mail will work best.

Attached is a new arrival letter and photographs.

Thank you for your support, prayers and sacrifice on Sister Hewitts behalf.  We look forward to serving with her in this wonderful journey.

President and Sister Blake Archibald

Peru Lima West Mission

First week in the field! 8-19-13

(I've been having blogger.com stress but it is working now... don't know why... don't know how... computers hate me... but that aside, I will be posting three weeks worth of emails today!)

8-19-13

Lex has been in the field for one week now.  She wasn't able to email last week, but we did get an email from her zone leaders telling us "Your daughter arrived here (where is "here"?!) well and we are so grateful to have another powerful missionary serving here with us."  Attached to that email was a quick hand-written note from Lex saying that she arrived (again, "where?!") and that she was super busy, just ate waffles - yum!, and that her new companion is always happy - that's about it!  She doesn't mention in her email below, but she did in a little note before it to me that she could really use some snail mail!  She isn't able to print emails and only has a little bit of time with the computer so she can only scan our email letters to her quickly. Send cards, letters, and pics to the Peru Lima West Mission Office:

Sister Andrea Alexis Hewitt

Peru Lima West Mission

Avenida Carlos Salaverry 3664

Los Olivos

Lima 39

Peru

¡Buenos días, mis hermanitos y hermanitas!

Sooooo here I am, in Puente Piedra, and apparently the craziness of my week is not average for the first week in the field. My companion, Hermana Moody, has trained two other sisters and she said that they had whacked out first weeks but mine tops them both. 

I LOVE IT.

I have so much to talk about but so very little time! AHHHHH

Sohoohoooo it was really really really hard to leave my beloved District 112, but I made it through. The first day here was dreadful. Hna Ojeda and I woke up 40 minutes late when we had to leave and barely made it, and then I was sick as a dog (there are trillions of perros con problemas mejores here), and then I was worried my companion wasn't going to ever talk to me...so I was very concerned. But all is well now.

Presidente Archibald is hardcore. He tells it like it is, and he tells it good and well. I really look forward to working with him.

A kiss on the cheek is customary for women greeting each other here. This lady tried to kiss both of us right on the MOUTH. 

Men love us here. it is dreadful. Last night this guy yelled after me, Hello! I love you! My preeeencesssss!

The ward is wonderful. So helpful.

Our apartment is tiny and dirty and void of any warm water. Ummmmmmmm...let's just say showering is the worst experience of my life. We're hoping to move very soon. We are opening a new area and so looooots of work to do, and loooooots of questions to ask our Zone Leaders, Elderes Reyes y Salazar. We love them. They are a hoot. And Elder Salazar has unbelievably pointy lips.

We climbed a freaking mountain in search of Rosalinda the other day. Never found her, but got our sweat on like nobody's business.

Had a lesson last night with a really promising less active family. The abuelita decided to sing a song for us. Cute, right?

SHE WAS BELTING LIKE WE HOLD OUR PANTS UP.

I love my life. I'll tell you more next time.

Siempre praying for my people back home.

Con todo mi amor, 

Hermanita Hewitt