Ether 12:6

"...faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."

My friends, if I have ever experienced an honest-to-goodness trial of my faith, it has been the entirety of my life for the past three weeks. When I met with my stake president to finalize my paperwork, he told me that I could anticipate my fairly low-maintenance application to "shoot through the system" and hopefully I would be opening my call the next Wednesday evening. Call me naive, but I was dead set on that date and planned everything accordingly. 

Of course, my call was not assigned the weekend I had expected, and so I resolved to be a little bit more wary. When I discovered it had been assigned a week later, I moved back in on the drawing board and, with the help of my ever-excellent mother, assembled semi-elaborate preparations for a get-together so all my close family (trust me, the 20+ prospective attendees represented only a fraction of the family that I deem truly close) would be able to be with me for the joyous event.

Wednesday was the day. Mom and my stepdad, Chris, postponed their weekend trip to Las Vegas to visit my beloved little stepsister Mookie until Thursday morning so it would all work out. Lo and behold, on The Big Wednesday, I called the post office and they (smugly? Maybe I was a little too anxious) informed me that no mission callings had been sent in that morning. It was disappointing, but my support system is about as perfect as they come and everyone understood when I let them know that I would be opening my call on Sunday night once my parents were home - in the serendipitous event that I actually did receive a mission call.

Cue thunderings and lightnings! All manner of iniquity! Nahhh. That big white envelope came on Thursday and I cradled it, seal unbroken, like a baby while the rest of the world stared at me in sheer confusion. It's my call, is it not? Don't I have the right to open it whenever I darn well please? Yes, World. Yes, I do have that right. And I wanted to wait for my ma. I prayed for patience and lingered in blessedly sedate anticipation. Satan worked on me like I don't believe I've ever been operated upon before (not even the wisdom teefies). Spending time with wonderful friends saved me, but home alone I felt unreasonably and inexplicably depressed and just plain cranky! Emotional stamina will be one of my strong points by the time I return home.

And then, thanks to our beautiful Utah weather, the Sunday evening shindig was cancelled. It snowed. And snowed. And continued to snow and rain until the roads became impossible to travel and, 6 minutes before my folks' flight landed, all runways in the Salt Lake City International Airport were closed and they were sent back to Las Vegas. Apart from the timely appearance of my home teachers and later two of my best friends for a short period, I savored in solitude the evening that was intended to be spent gathered in the company of many of my loved ones as I waited. This sounds rather dreary, but I had made a personal decision to open my call with my mother present and I found peace in sticking to my guns.

I came home from church at 4:00 PM. I cancelled the plans at 6:00 PM. I opened the garage door to usher in my exhausted mother, stepfather, and little brother Andrew at 12:00 AM. Along the way, I finished reading my Book of Mormon and gained, minute by minute, a new appreciation for my calling and a humble understanding of the almighty power and mercy of my Heavenly Father. He gave me hope for those things which I had so earnestly desired and prayed for, then He allowed that faith to be put to the test. I was broken and refined to the point where I was humble enough to discover in which place the Lord would have me serve. And I am pleased and honored to announce that the dynamics of this mission are exactly, without error, without exception, without consequence, the characteristics that I prayed for in faith. (Enos 1:12, 15)

Waiting for the Call

Welp, here it is! I've already:
Decided to serve a full-time mission
Met with my bishop and received permission to apply
Finished my application
Met again with the bishop and stake president
Sent my papers in to Salt Lake City
Found out from my bishop that my call has officially been assigned (When I got the text I cried. Like a baby. I will admit that I had just had my wisdom teeth removed, and the Lortab didn't exactly stabilize my emotions. Still.)

And now, we wait.

The real kicker is that today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and that means that if the calls are usually sent out on Monday and are delayed, I don't have any idea if my call will arrive on Wednesday or Thursday. I am on the fringe of utter disarray. But I will be strong! You can count on it.

I've followed a few blogs created by the families of currently serving missionaries. Hearing about their firsthand experiences and realizing that I'm not the only one who's scared out of my mind is actually quite soothing. Most of these have begun with the missionary's entrance into the MTC, but I was told a few weeks ago that my mission doesn't begin when I leave home; it begins now. Therefore, I'm keeping track of this journey from now on. There's not a whole lot of good solid information out there for prospective sister missionaries, but hopefully I can provide a little bit of inspiration or encouragement. It's always nice to know you're not alone.

First of all, after you've made your decision to serve a mission, crazy things might start to happen! No, you won't most likely discover a village of glittery trolls underneath your bedroom, but your beliefs will be challenged left and right and you'll be brought to a clear understanding of your flaws and underlying issues. You will probably be put into tricky situations that you've never had to deal with and have no option but to face them head on. These trials can either make or break your testimony. You hear stuff like this all the time, but it doesn't really hit you until you're the one making the tough choices.

Just remember, there's a first time for everything, and if you don't get it right from the head start just aim to improve. If you have received confirmation that a mission is right for you, don't sway from your decision. Keep plowing forward, even if you're faced with adversity. Heavenly Father has put you in this place for a reason, and what you will gain far exceeds what you will sacrifice.

If you're anxiously awaiting your call, try to keep your mind on other constructive things...

Go see a movie with a couple close friends (I would recommend something comedic. I just saw "Mama" today. Big mistake. I was walking into an unlit hall in my house and when I turned around to see my fluffy puppy on the ground right behind me, I almost screamed. If you've seen it, you'll understand why.).

Write. It's a good way of getting all your concerns out of your system. Just like Mom used to make me imagine sickness flooding out of my body with every glass of water I drank, picture the pent-up thoughts flooding out of your pen on paper.

Exercise! Focus all your energy into working your muscles and let everything else become a blur for an hour or two. The ensuing endorphins will take care of the rest.

Listen to music. My new obsession is The Mahogany Blog. Lots and lots of pretty young things with pretty incredible talent.

Reverse psychology has helped me a little. Instead of just ignoring the fact altogether, I wrote a countdown in hours to the time I plan to open my call. Whenever I start to feel antsy, I'll find that scrap of paper and mark down all the hours that I've made it so far! And, if it comes on Wednesday, I've got a mere 47 to go.