Sometimes we almost kill our sister trainers…again 12-9-13

SURPRISE! We had two unexpected work visits this week. The Hermana Líderes called us on Tuesday to tell us they'd be coming to do divisions with us in our area, and then Hermana Archibald (President's wife) called us on Friday to ask if she could come to our appointments with us for the afternoon. Usually that's terrifying. This time, it was...also terrifying. But that's okay. They both ended up being super relaxed and (dare I say it?) fun!

Hermana Brown, from Arizona, and I went and visited a couple people. She has only 7 months on the mission and is already a sister leader! That's crazy! But she teaches with such love and understanding that I can see why. I learned a lot about the importance of remembering that each person is our brother or our sister. 

In the evening we were on our way back to the house to meet with Hermana Moody and Hermana Mendoza. There were a ton of people along the highway, so I thought we may as well take a shortcut through Huamantanga. I don't know if I've ever told you anything about it, but Huamantanga is this massive, massive market that takes up several blocks and is easy to get lost in during the day...at nighttime, I learned, there is no hope. We contacted a girl selling ice cream and then wound our way into the depths, taking one too many wrong turns. To make a long story short, we ended up against the very high wall which we had anticipated to be our exit, backing slowly away from two

very large

and very 

very

very

angry

dogs.

Who were barking.

This is the end…at least I was serving a mission.

Just as the bigger dog came within lunging distance, a man poked his head curiously around the corner. "Señor, por favor, ¡AYÚDENOS!" Hermana Brown cried. He calmly called Rocky, his massive beast of a pet, telling him to leave us alone. Finally the dog backed off enough for us to walk forward and out of the alleyway. We talked to this fella for a few minutes - he wanted to talk about the United States and the merits of puppies and bunkbeds and all this nonsense, but we very tactfully let him know we were ready to go home. So he gave us directions back out, and by the time we got onto the highway sidewalk, there was a much smaller crowd. 

Hey, silver lining.

ANNNNNNNYYYYWAYYYYYYYY

Made it home safe and sound. Dusted off our faldas and the next morning Hermana Brown told me my Spanish is great and she thinks I am prooooobably going to be training next transfer.

WORLD SHATTERED

There are 9 Latina sisters coming in. And exactly ZERO gringas. So if I do train, I am going to be training a native Spanish speaker. That's that. We find out next Tuesday, I s'pose! Pray for the missionaries of Peru Lima Oeste, because our cambios are literally a week before Christmas. There might be some tears. But, the Lord has it all under control. I trust Him.

Hermana Archibald also told me with great surprise in her voice after our first lesson with her company that my Spanish is excellent. If she didn't sound so completely shocked I would have been ever so slightly more complimented, but HEY I guess that's always good to speak another language. Oh gracious, now you're just witnessing the musings of a young lady unfit for society or anything of the like. 

#Patiencepatiencepatiencepatiencepatienceisavirtue

Oh yeah. We also chased some chickens around a house and ate beautiful Peruvian trash caviar and got interviewed by some students who are trying to learn English and Hermana Moody cat called a bunch of couples (HAY BAY BAY!) in the big Municipal park in the center of Puente and we played billiards last p-day with our district and Hermana Moody got sick and I got better and GOT OUR WATER HEATER INSTALLED IN OUR NEW HOUSE and got some Christmas packages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#Thanksmommyforthe14pairsofsoftsoftsocksandreese'speanutbuttercupswhichliterallymademyworldgoroundandtheadorablephotographsandyesIdowantyoutoincludethisentiresentencedirectedspecificallyatyouinmyblogbecauseIwanteverybodytoknowthatyouaretheworld'sgreatestmotherandyoudeserveamugthatsaysIgavemymissionarydaughter14pairsofsocksforChristmasandherhappinesslevelisnowsevenhundredpercentincreased.

(If she was that excited about the socks and Reese's what's she going to do when she receives her REAL Christmas package next week… and the notes telling her that family is sending her additional packages every month as our "12 months of Christmas" project??  So fun to have such an enthusiastic and grateful daughter!)

And one night Hermana Moody flopped down on my bed (bottom bunk) in her proselyting clothes after planning so I climbed up onto her bed and we sat there and talked with the light on and then I had a dream that I woke up in the morning in my own bed and got ready for the day like normal and then suddenly I woke up on the top bunk at 12:41 a.m. and almost had a panic attack but just put on jammies and got in bed.  And also this week I found out our little 15-year-old buddy "Mi" has been telling everybody he loves me.

If you are a returned missionary, you will agree. If you are a future missionary, be prepared. If a joven decides to tell everybody they are in love with you, it means only one thing.

endless.

torment.

At least when the other missionaries in your ward are anything like Hermana Moody, Elder Muñoz, Elder Salazar, and Elder Johnson. Elder Gallardo is pretty nice. The others...it's a rough time.

#Butwhatcanyado

ALSO we watched the Christmas Devotional in Spanish and it was beautiful! Oh my goodness. I was such a mess for Elder Nelson's talk. So stunning. I am so grateful that I could understand it!  Wow. The gift of tongues is SO COOL.

I love being a missionary. We are so guided by the Holy Ghost to the people, the places, and the words that the Lord needs us to have.

I love you all and pray for you every night.

Sending my blessings home,

Hermana Hewitt

OH YEAH

I'm just going to write some of Hermana Moody's best quotes this week:

"I really like my right eyebrow, Hermana Hewitt. My left eyebrow, on the other hand, deserves to be shot off my face."

"My throat has seen the fire of the coming of the Lord. I feel like I just made out with a dragon. Or at least that's how I imagine it would be."

"I'm going to get a companion that I have to slap in the face daily."

(after we had seen some dogs fighting and I had said, "It really is a dog-eat-dog world.") "Yeah, I had always thought that was just something cute to say. Doggie-dog world."

And my personal favorite...

(trying to get me to eat my last few bites of food) "Here comes the plane! OPEN THE PLANE HOLE!"

I'll be optimistic 12-2-13

Well, Hermana Moody and I have been going through a rough spot in our companionship. I always try to get her to be happy, and she always tries to get me to stop being a child. SOOO basically, the subject of this carta is what happens when an unstoppable force collides with an immovable object. 

#Justkiddingshereallyisn'tabusiveandI'monlyachildonTuesdays

So we finally moved into our white castle! There's a giant window with bars over it to keep us from dying or escaping and every night the moon casts a pattern over our beautiful tile floor which makes me feel like I'm part of a Batman movie. 

I LOVE IT

Our first night in this new neighborhood, Hermana Moody decided to contact the little old lady who wears giant Rasta beanies and always yells, "HELLO BABY!" at us when we pass by on our way to appointments. BAD CHOICE. She told us the same story about her family who lives in the selva about six different times. But hey, now we have a cool friend that knows about four words in English (Good Morning is a popular phrase as well). 

Oh yeah, and there was a 5.8 earthquake on Monday as well. It shook our house. And then stopped. And then shook our house again. And only knocked over a few things. But definitely TERRIFIED every Peruvian in the street. Tremors are quite regular here, but they still leap to the Second Coming the moment their feet feel a little shaky. Ah well.

Speaking of Latino drama, the youngling "A" (from a family who we visit and adore; he and his sisters don't have permission from their father in Spain to get baptized but are still a part of the ward and everybody loves them) came home on the arms of two of his school friends the other day. His ankle was the size of a cantaloupe and purple as an angry Russian. He lay on the couch and wailed for a good half hour while his aunt basically ran around screaming and cooking lunch and shaking like that earthquake. We calmed them both down and got the story out of him. Apparently a chubby kid fell on his leg while they were playing soccer and somethin' went kersnap. So now "A" has a cast and crutches, and his aunt and mother have successfully avoided perpetual trauma (again).

Welp, we haven't gotten to move our water heater yet, and the temperature has been WAY down this week, and everybody is passing around an ugly cold, so it overtook me yet again. I like the cold outside (trust me, it is a hundred times better than blazing heat and humidity) but I don't really appreciate it getting inside my throat and nose. I hope this Thanksgiving you all gave thanks for indoor plumbing and heat. Wear a scarf and eat a Christmas orange!

On that note, we are doing a 25 Days of Christmas thing with "A" and his family. Each day we are doing something different to come closer to Jesus Christ. Yesterday, we had 1 ayuno (fast) for whatever we needed. Today we have 2 sincere prayers, and the list goes on. This week we are doing different actions, next week we are developing Christlike attributes together, the third week we are going to focus on different scriptures, and the last couple days we haven't quite mapped out yet. But I am really excited! And Hermana Moody's ma sent us 25 Hershey's kisses each to eat each day. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO THE GRINGAS

Speaking of awkward gringa moments...

My skirt flew over my head as I was hanging up a sign in front of the church for a conference held by an organization which helps abused women and spreads the word about the proper way to show respect to the female gender. They are great people. I don't think they appreciated my mishap too much...thankfully nobody was passing on the street so only the director of the organization saw. She held my skirt down for me as I finished putting up the sign....

A man proposed to us for his son. We were contacting their family, and he asked us if we were single. Uhmmmmm yes. Well, he's single too! (pointing to his 30-something-year-old son "J", who stood in the doorway and raised his eyebrows at us.) Welp. Thanks.

We left a lesson in a sketchier area at night, and found that we were surrounded by Testigos de Jehovah. They were on a blitz, a big group of them knocking on every door in the neighborhood. We cheerfully greeted them and I contained myself from making too many jokes involving my newly-invented phrase, "Night of the Living Christians."

We washed our laundry in our little sink. Socks get really dirty in Perú.

I quite accidentally offended the girl who we just got a fecha bautismal with. We were all full of the Spirit and excitement when "M" and her sister "G" accepted to be baptized on the 14th of December, and then their younger sister told "M" jokingly that she could wear her bikini! I laughed and said, "Nah, we don't want to see any of that!" Everybody else laughed...except "M". She walked out of the room and then came back really quiet. Buuuuuut she did come to church the next day and doesn't seem to hate me too bad. Meta for this week: THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK, HERMANA HEWITT

Also. We took a taxi to Lima to pick up a package for Hna Moody early this morning, then took a bus all the way back up here to our district leader's area for internet. On the bus for about 15 minutes there were two men who played this INCREDIBLE Incan music. Like, with this old drum and a thing kind of like a guitar and one of those wood flute things. And I was just so, so, so happy. We bought their music, and I'm pretty sure the flutist and I are in love now.

#JustkiddingI'mnotabadmissionaryeventhoughHnaMoodywilltellyouIamIjustreallylikedthemusic

Happy Holidays to all! Take time to thank your Heavenly Father for the Atonement and life of Jesus Christ.

Lots of love,

Hermana Hewitt

OH YES

My companion told me I win quote of the week. Because I definitely forgot what a cleft palate is.

"I feel like one of those children on those sad commercials. Like, the ones with cleft chins."

Just Cause: The Merits of Vowel Pronunciation 11-23-13

Well, I am just going to come out and say it...

SURPRISEWEBAPTIZEDANOTHERINVESTIGATOR!

"M". He is so awesome. We have been teaching him since we got here to Puente Piedra, and he has gone through this super long process of repentance and changes in his life. He absolutely loves the gospel and the Church. He told us Monday night, HEY I think it's time for me to get baptized! So we had our marvelous district leader, Elder Scroggins, interview him and sure enough, he was ready and worthy. So Saturday night we went to the most beautiful baptismal service I have ever attended. He really has changed so much to be a member, and he is so incredibly deserving of the blessings that come with baptism and receiving the Holy Ghost. Thank you for all your prayers - I know they make a huge difference.

Other things that have happened this week:

Showered in an orange bucket. We didn't have the ability to get rid of water through the regular system for a few days,soooooooo we just filled up an orange bucket and then tossed it over the edge of the roof. #doingitliketheperuviansdo

Had a resplendant zone conference. Our leaders are bosses. And we are now in a leadership position in the zone, as women with different perspectives. woooohooo

Ate some fish ovaries. Well, Hermana Moody ate it and I just picked mine apart. Ew. 

Got real sick after that. Both of us. Our pensionist tried to convince us we've been eating too much yogurt...her sister told us we probably got WORMS from the fish she gave us, or some other thing in the mountain of food she stuffs down our throats on a daily basis. Apparently that's real common. But I have had a tummyache and a headache for a little while. Maybe the worms will eat the food that still hasn't digested from last week. Thanks wormies.

We spent eight hours throwing stuff off the roof of a six-story building! It was so glorious and triumphant! That's basically what we call a service activity here in the graceful and conservative land of el Perú. 

We went to a birthday party for one of our investigators. She got her face smashed in a cake. What's up?

OH NO I HAVE NO MORE TIME

Quote of the week: Hermana Moody!

"I wonder what Alma the Younger would do if he saw two jovenes making out in the street. I know what Elijah would do. He would send the she-bear after them. That's why I want to be Elijah when I grow up."

I love her.

And I love you all!

Hermana Hewitt